Dear papa,
The year is coming to an end. In a few days it will be a year since you are gone. It has been that long already. You are gone and life around me has picked itself up and moved on. It would seem I have done the same. Have I? Moved on? From you? I hope not. I have this pain that still connects me with you and its mine for you. I have not reached a place where I can think of you without pain of this loss. I am not sure if such a place exists. I am not sure if it does I can get there, or if I want to.
I wish there was more time for me with you. I don't know who I was being strong for? Last few months together that we spent we ended up being so argumentative. I was on some quest to help you lead a more meaningful life. Because that is what we expected of you. I don't know if you knew this. Or if you felt this was how it was going to be. I wish I had the courage to tell you how much I loved you, how much I still do and how much I will always love you. You will always be my hero and I will always be proud of you. For all the times when I wanted you to be better and told you so, there have been many other numerous times when you have filled my heart with joy and pride just by being you. Life is too short to get people to conform into our expectations of them. Life is too short to not love each other for who we are. Life proved to be too short for me to love you and for you to know that I love you. I hope and wish that Mehr gets to know you. I don't know how but I wish she does. I wish she gets one person in her life that you have been for me. If it is me then I will be thankful to god for giving me this opportunity to pass it on.
Merry Christmas papa. Do you have Christmas parties there too? and does Santa come on a fire engine or a Jonga or any other fauji piece of originality? We have finally put up a tree thanks to Mehr. Would you come along and pay us a visit? Is it too painful and a logistical nightmare for you and the bureaucracy up there to arrange it? Is that why death is so final? Because people have not yet figured out how to work around the red tape that saparates life from death?
Love
Shruti
The year is coming to an end. In a few days it will be a year since you are gone. It has been that long already. You are gone and life around me has picked itself up and moved on. It would seem I have done the same. Have I? Moved on? From you? I hope not. I have this pain that still connects me with you and its mine for you. I have not reached a place where I can think of you without pain of this loss. I am not sure if such a place exists. I am not sure if it does I can get there, or if I want to.
I wish there was more time for me with you. I don't know who I was being strong for? Last few months together that we spent we ended up being so argumentative. I was on some quest to help you lead a more meaningful life. Because that is what we expected of you. I don't know if you knew this. Or if you felt this was how it was going to be. I wish I had the courage to tell you how much I loved you, how much I still do and how much I will always love you. You will always be my hero and I will always be proud of you. For all the times when I wanted you to be better and told you so, there have been many other numerous times when you have filled my heart with joy and pride just by being you. Life is too short to get people to conform into our expectations of them. Life is too short to not love each other for who we are. Life proved to be too short for me to love you and for you to know that I love you. I hope and wish that Mehr gets to know you. I don't know how but I wish she does. I wish she gets one person in her life that you have been for me. If it is me then I will be thankful to god for giving me this opportunity to pass it on.
Merry Christmas papa. Do you have Christmas parties there too? and does Santa come on a fire engine or a Jonga or any other fauji piece of originality? We have finally put up a tree thanks to Mehr. Would you come along and pay us a visit? Is it too painful and a logistical nightmare for you and the bureaucracy up there to arrange it? Is that why death is so final? Because people have not yet figured out how to work around the red tape that saparates life from death?
Love
Shruti
