Dear papa,

I am writing to you after such a long time. I am down and I am crushed and very much beaten. We all want to matter in our lives through various channels. I want to matter. I want my work to matter. I want to do valuable work and for my work to be valued. At this point I am loosing and I have lost a lot.

There are not a lot of people who believe in my potential or even see it. But you did Papa. You always did. And I can not let the rest of the world's belief or even a few individuals belief weigh yours out. Please give me the strength to find inspiration and strength and wisdom.

Please help me see the light. Please help me forge my way. 

I miss you so much papa. I feel like you would know what to say and what to do and what does it all mean? What am I missing? 

Chuti-muti