Its been two years today.  There are things that I wish and hope that you can see today. I hope that you can see that we are going to have a new member in our family in a few months. I hope you can see us. I hope you know how much you are missed. Your touch, your voice, your smile and your indulgence that I could hear through all these geographical miles between us. That smile in your voice, it made all those miles melt away and if I closed my eyes, then we cold be sitting in the same room sitting across from each other talking.

If only I could still hear your voice, If only you were still here. If only it was different...


I will always love you and you will always live in my memories in my heart through my interactions with Mehr and my interactions with the rest of the world.

Love
Chuti-muti

Dear Papa,

I had another interview today. It went well I think, I have no idea how it went especially after the fiasco of the last one. I still have not heard back from them. I think its unprofessional but then thats neither here nor there. The good thing is that hopefully I will find out in a week about this one.

I think I did the right thing and went about it in the best way I knew how and accurately expressed and portrayed myself. If I don't get it then may I am not the right fit.

A lot happened since I started typing. I got a call that I will be offered a job and I am excited. I am hoping to get the offer sometime monday or tuesday in writing.

Yay to that. Love

Chuti Muti

Dear Papa,

I want you to guide destiny in this case.Talk about expectations but its not that I think mostly I just want to somehow unburden and unwind and this is definitely one of the ways for me to do that. Lately life has been so hectic and gives me a feeling that I am running around like a headless chicken and doing all these rounds, jumping through all the hoops and crossing all the ts... but I am not sure to what end.
There is frantic activity and to do lists but I am not sure if I have picked up things that are helpful or I have made any progress. More recently I have given an interview at a company and I think it would be an interesting opportunity and it looks promising. I have worked with them in the past and that has been a god experience from what I understand for both the parties. In fact they wanted me to apply for this position. So all this was very encouraging. Only I have not heard from them. That has led to a fair amount of anxiety and leaping to conclusions  to pits of despair.
I want a pause, perspective and purpose in life and I also want your blessings and love and above all you.

Love
chuti-muti

Papa,

I need you to lift me up in spirit and morale. I feel a little out of sorts more in the self pity mode. I know I have a lot of be happy about and I am. I just feel more out of it all now that before. I feel like I can not be anywhere and do anything and feel that sense of accomplishment. I feel like I am excluded from somewhere. Something that needed doing and I am out of it. My existence is not of use to anyone or anything in general or in particular.

There is nothing wrong about it but it hurt. The only scientist in the family that is serving the country. It felt exclusionary. Is this how life is going to be a little bit out of everything somewhat? At some point we have to be objective about it. Looking at life standing on the sidelines. Aaj phir dilko humne samjhaya.

I miss you papa, its true that you  may not be able to help me but having you with me was something I took for granted. Having you in my life is something I took for granted. I hope you knew how much I love you and miss you. I hope you are peaceful and happy where you are.

Love
Shruti

There are so many things that everyday remind me of you. They are a part of me only because of you. They are a part if me because they were a part of you. I miss you.
Mansi and its thought is not the same without you.
Mangoes
Roses
Fishes
My Fair Lady
Music
and all things big and small...

Dear Papa,

If I knew the last time I saw you would be the last time I ever would, I would never have let you go.

Shruti

I have been meaning to come and talk to you. My typing here is my version of talking to you. I wish there was a more real version but that is not possible at least not now and I just have to make do with form of communication till I see you next.

I feel I am jumping at anything and everything that is happening around me, I don't know how I should go about it? What if I am really not that good and what I am expecting from myself is not all that great?! The only problem with it is that I think I want to be. I also want to be. I also want answers to all my questions I want some balance and perspective and I don't know what to do or how to go about it.

I should be able to handle it. Am I doing the right thing?

I need some guidance and a big bear hug :)

Miss you a lot.